the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
