i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
