Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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