I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize