Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
