I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
