why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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