you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
