just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
my liver is dry heaving
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
