I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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