Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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