his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
