carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I came so hard my ears popped.
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