and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize