gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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