It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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