I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I think I sprained my soul last night
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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