wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
