im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
