Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
