Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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