Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
