Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
