She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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