i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Found your dick twin last night
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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