Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
