...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
