This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
