you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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