I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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