garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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