There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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