Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Randomize