and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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