I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
