Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
