All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
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