McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
