We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
