Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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