Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
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