please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
