guys are not supposed to queef...right?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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