Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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