Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
