We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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