i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
