$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I DEMAND FORESKIN
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
