the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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