You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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