Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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