how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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