Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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