i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
