When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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