please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize