i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My balls are so social today.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Randomize